Eye to Eye
by jamielordofgingers
Summary: If there was such a thing as an audio dictionary, Asuka Langley Shikinami would know exactly what the sound of snivelling would be described with in two words: Shinji Ikari. Additionally, she would nominate him as the example for cowardice, whining, and general patheticness, if such words could have sounds attributed to them.


Eye to Eye: An Evangelion Fanfic

If there was such a thing as an audio dictionary, Asuka Langley Shikinami would know exactly what the sound of snivelling would be described with in two words: Shinji Ikari. Additionally, she would nominate him as the example for cowardice, whining, and general patheticness, if such words could have sounds attributed to them. And really, did he have any cause to be like this? Like herself, he piloted a magnificent machine of war against alien invaders, and managed to scrape up wins against them no less, which frankly surprised her to no end. Hell, whilst she'd been recovering from the activation of Unit 03 he'd damn near kick-started Third Impact just to get Ayanami back from the abyss of an Angel. So why the hell was he just cowering at the entrance to the school roof like she was going to tear his arm off? If she was going to do that, it'd be reserved for the bitch Mari. English sow had mutilated poor Unit 02 and just vanished.

Still, she'd sooner have the company of her fellow pilots, however inferior to her as they were, to the bland and annoying morons that occupied the school. Was an eye patch so out of the ordinary that the masses feel about with mouths agape and eyes wide? The continuous stream of idiocy and unspoken pity, not to mention the whispered wild theories and rumours about how she'd acquired the damn thing (her favourite was cyborg eye operation gone bad) that she'd claimed the roof as her own personal lunching space, hence why she was here in the first place. This didn't explain Ikari however, as he'd been avoiding her ever since the Unit-03 test. Most of the details were lost to her due the mental trauma and brutal beat down she and Unit-03 had suffered to stop its rampage. NERV were keeping most the details from her, hell, she'd only found out about the Third Impact thing from that creepy new pilot Kaworu, who'd apparently put a stop to the whole thing if you could believe that. However, she still wasn't sure that she was getting the full story. For a start, what could have put down Unit-03? An Evangelion Unit was just as invincible as the Angels, nothing short of an N2 mine would have stopped one from rampaging. But she'd seen the damage herself, it was most defiantly not the kind one would have caused. The whole thing was torn to pieces, like a child demolishing a doll in a fit of rage… oh. Of course, it was so simple now. Unit-03 goes berserk, and Unit-00 or 01 are (is? Whatever) dispatched to immobilise it, but as all the other pilots are incompetent, they end up utterly destroying it instead. Or were ordered to. Ayanami and Mari would do it in a second, out of apathy or bloodlust respectively, but even Shinji wasn't enough of a pussy to apologise for them. Hmm, would he be able to do it? Saying that the Third Child was reluctant to pilot was like saying Ayanami was reluctant to socialise, and the fact his opponent would have been another human, even without the sort-of friendship they had, would stop him in his tracks completely. Any other thoughts on the matter were cut off as her phone burst into alarm.

"_Angel Attack."_

Hell yes, time to kick some ass. It was no small satisfaction that she saw Shinji jump a foot into the air in his obliviousness. Sweeping up her lunch things, she grabbed him on the way, ignoring whatever he was babbling on about as she got ready to do what she did best.

* * *

So yeah, go to space and kill Angels. Just another day for Asuka Langley Shikinami. And she was finally getting to finish her lunch whilst she waiting for her roommates, which was an added bonus. Unsurprisingly, it was Shinji who finished up first, spotting her resting on one of NERV's cheap benches and immediately going back into wuss mode. Okay, enough of this. One solid grab of his stupid collar and slamming him against the wall was a good start.

"Alright dummkopf, if you don't stop shaking in your boots every time we cross paths without giving me a damn good reason, I'm going to kick your ass from here to Germany, back all the way here so that I'll be the best pilot in both countries! Hell, maybe I'll stop by Britain and your ass there just to prove I'm the best pilot to Mari as well!"

The response was predictable, but in between the stammering and infinite apologies she finally gets the whole story. Of Angel processed Evangelions, evil auto pilots, and an attack on NERV itself if you could believe it. It ended with him breaking down completely, going on and on about the eye and how it's all his fault and how he'd do better in future and…

SLAP!

Well, that shut him up pretty quickly, although she did remove his collar and him from the wall. He was just hanging his head now, waiting for whatever else she was going to dish out. God dammit he was pathetic. Asuka sighed, resting one hand on hip.

"Listen idiot, I'm not holding the eye thing against you. At least you have the decency to apologise for it, even if this is one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen in my life. It was another Angel battle, and a loss – loss scenario. If you'd fought for real I'd still would have been hurt, and if there'd been no auto pilot we'd all have been killed anyway. So and you sort of made up for it with the whole Third Impact thing."

"You heard about that?"

"I got an abridged version from your creepy new boyfriend."

"He's not…"

"Not with the way he looks at you he isn't. The point is that we have to expect this sort of thing. We're soldiers after all. As nice is it would be if I could one-shot every Angel that came to wreck our shit, life doesn't work that way. So man up, cause there's three female pilots and one extremely effeminate one, and frankly we've all got more balls than you. And another thing…"

"I, I get it. Thanks Asuka. I thought you'd be madder." Huh, she hadn't expected him to try to get a word in edgeways.

"I will be next time you pull this shit. Seriously, how many battles have you been in now?"

"Pilot Shikinami, would you kindly unhand Shinji?"

Well, that was the end of this lecture. She let Shinji down from the wall again, and with a confidant hair flip, strode off past Wondergirl with ne'er a glance behind her. Killing Angels, motivating useless teammates, was there anything she wasn't spectacular at?

"_Well, you're a pretty terrible daughter."_

The grin on her face turned into a scowl as the high-pitched voice of self-doubt drove its way in. And she'd been having such a nice day.

* * *

**A/N: **Yeah, I meant to get this finished way before the third rebuild film came out, (like, a year ago), so movie canon will quickly render this entire thing pointless. Ah well, at least it's done.


End file.
